so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
