Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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