Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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