Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
