The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
