the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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