there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
