Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
