drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
