she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize