Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
