He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
