i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize