maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
