I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize