Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
