Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
