Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
