Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
