he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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