singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize