I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
