direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
