I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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