whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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