You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
