Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
