Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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