I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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