Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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