Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
