I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
