Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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