Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
