The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
