dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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