Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
