it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so much tequila, so little girl.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
