I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
no, he came in my armpit
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
