I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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