I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
