Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I puked a lego.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
