i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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