he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
