You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize