I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
