1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize