Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
