Yo dont text me then not text me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
