Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize