And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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