Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
