remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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