Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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