It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
