Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
