Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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