she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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