thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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