Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
