What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize