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• (818): View more from California

  dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  how do we leave politely?

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.

  Fav 2 473 506

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• (979): View more from Texas

  You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads

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• (727): View more from Florida

  The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.

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