Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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