I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
