this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she peed on how many people?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's on the porch naked. Help.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
