checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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