and i looked up. we had an audience...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
