When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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