also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
