Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
