so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
