No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize