went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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