Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
