i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
